Acta non verba

Deeds, not words.

"In Him, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace."

Ephesians 1:7

"I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah."

Psalms 32:5

"As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us."

This act of forgiveness brings a profound sense of relief and comfort, a reassurance that our sins are truly forgiven and removed from us.

Psalms 103:12

"For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you."

God's abundance of love and forgiveness makes us feel cherished and valued.

Psalms 86:5

"for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in calamity."

This resilience of the righteous is a source of great empowerment, encouraging us to rise again, no matter how many times we fall.

Proverbs 24:16

Today, I overindulge in everything you could think of.

I overspent, overate, lack self-control, and the list goes on.

I went down the path of my feelings and threw care to the wind.

Have you ever been here before?

I provided a few verses above highlighting that we have God to guide, direct, and forgive us in Christianity.

I reflected on my actions a few moments ago and offered a prayer of forgiveness to God.

I could have spent less or no money on my pleasures and been more prudent.

Yet, I walked down the broad path of pleasure.

It felt good to fill my belly and to have a dopamine release; however, it wasn't congruent with what I think God had for me.

I don't want to be too hard on myself.

My faith in Christ has ebbed and flowed throughout the years, but I am doing my best to follow His commands.

This is to love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength and to love my neighbor as yourself.

It's easy for me to confess my indulgence in sin to God, but it's hard to forgive myself and love myself despite my failings.

Does that make sense?

I can talk the walk, but it's a lot harder to walk the walk.

My faith means a lot to me, and I desire to walk the narrow path of life.

As the Bible describes, this path is not always easy but is the path of righteousness and wisdom.

It is the path I strive to follow despite my human flaws and temptations.

Reflecting on my choices today, I felt like a total hypocrite.

How can I say I am a Christian when I choose the path of pleasure?

I don't desire to be one of those people who professes Christianity yet lives a life totally against it.

I acknowledge my weakness, and at the same time, I want to be better.

Better than the last moment and to choose wisdom over folly.

I could explain what is wrong with me and how I could have done this, but that does not progress to a better moment.

Self-condemnation doesn't lead anywhere.

I am human, I am flawed, and I am persevering to love myself despite my flaws.

Any good from me ultimately comes from my choice to choose Christ.

"The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it?"

Jeremiah 17:9

"As it is written: "None is righteous, no, not one;"

Romans 3:10

There is a real war within my soul to pursue righteousness and not to walk in the path of folly.

I am good because of what has been done on the cross.

I am forgiven of my past, present, and future sins.

And His blood covers me.

Apart from Christ, my heart deceives me and is deceitful.

I may sound like a lunatic to some people reading this.

My understanding of Scripture and life experience makes me think this way.

What do I do from here?

Do I blame?

Do I make a vow that I will never fall short of righteousness?

I will be down this road that I traveled on again.

I will fail.

I will be flawed.

I will act according to my feelings and indulge again.

Because I am writing this post, I will become more mindful of my choices.

I may prevent my choices of folly and pursue prudence.

I fight with being hard on myself and grace.

Part of me wants to rest, and the other part wants to work hard to improve myself.

To be perfect. To be blameless. To be prudent.

How do I reconcile myself with this thought process?

The way to process my sins is to be transparent about them and to engage in deep self-reflection and contemplation.

I mean by writing this post and amending my mistakes.

There you have it.

I am a flawed writer and hope to improve by examining my steps.

Acta non verba - Deeds, not words.