Ancient Ideas Deserve Examination, Not Automatic Obedience
Why do modern human beings allow ideas produced in radically different historical circumstances to govern contemporary life?
I am genuinely curious about a couple of things. I am beginning to write from a post-evangelical lens, and I’ve decided to adopt more of an agnostic atheistic perspective moving forward.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: I don’t believe Jesus is God, and I’m not sure if there is a God, and I’m going to function not believing in one.
I don’t want people to think I am a Christian when I die, especially when I write and share that Jesus is not God.
Wow, that feels great to say; it’s almost as if I’m coming out of the closet for the first time.
Anyway, what I find curious is how modern humans look back at texts such as the Hebrew Bible or the New Testament, or even Hindu texts or the Qur’an. And we apply it our lives.
We look to the past to apply toward the future to live in the present moment.
It’s amazing because as an ex-evangelical, I’ve adopted a worldview that did not make sense after examining it.
No hate for Christianity. I’m not angry. I am sad, though. I wish I had come to this conclusion when I was a teenager rather than going through the evangelical machine here in America.
Maybe I wouldn’t have gone to Liberty University or believed and practiced Calvinism. I know for certain I wouldn’t bury the pain from thinking I was born evil or think my heart is deceptive and wicked.
I know for me, being on the schizophrenic spectrum, it’s incredibly hard to watch or see others practice crying out to an invisible God, speaking in tongues, or hearing from a Spirit.
I can’t do it. It’s one of the main reasons I’ve chosen to become an atheist.
It may not make sense to my evangelical Protestant friends. Or even my mom and my family.
It’s a weight off my shoulders.
The other thing I find interesting is that a lot of people who practice Christianity or have a relationship with Jesus or whatever you want to call it all have the same model of thinking.
It’s the same narrative: the Devil is around seeking whom to devour; we should be vigilant for our enemy; God has a grand plan for our life. We have a testimony to bring others to Christ.
You can see that in my book I wrote last year. It was a short memoir of mental illness, having lived with bipolar in my late teens and early twenties, then being diagnosed schizoaffective at 30 and surviving my suicide attempt.
In the book, you can see I attributed my suffering and suicide attempt as a divine mark from God that he allowed me to endure my mental illness to humble me and give Him the most glory.
It’s subtle, but it’s there. In fact, that’s the narrative I had underneath the religious mindset.
Who am I to question God for being born into sin and having a wicked heart? We are fallen people with our environment being fallen, and how the enemy controls the world to deceive others and keep people ignorant of Christ.
You see why I left Christianity?
And then the narrative of Jesus, where it’s God in the flesh, the Son, to reconcile us to God the Father and to have a relationship with Him through God the Spirit and forgiving the sin nature we are born into by believing in the resurrection.
It’s interesting, and I may be wrong, but it creates a dependency on this invisible force we call God, and almost like we are the victim of the defiance in the Garden that we inherited; when Eve ate the fruit, gaining wisdom to be like God.
I lean more towards hard determinism, and it plays into my atheism. I don’t believe we have free will, or if we do, it’s very limited.
I don’t know what happens when we die; we could cease to exist, or maybe get judged for how we live our lives.
Jesus did say the greatest commandment is to love your neighbor and to love God with all your heart, soul, and strength.
I don’t know what loving God with all my heart, soul, and strength looks like, but I’d imagine it’s not reciting creeds or affirming toxic doctrines.
I mean, I don’t believe in God, so I guess I don’t have to follow that command; however, I do believe in being kind to your neighbor, making wise decisions, and doing your best to forgive others and to be radically honest.
So that’s where I’m at, living post-faith and writing about my journey with a new perspective.