Into The Horizon

Well, here we are.

It's been a while since I've sat down and wrote something.

I must confess that I wrote the last couple of blog posts with the help of Chat GPT.

The message is mine, but the wording and style came from AI.

I don't mind because I'm not trying to be some hot-shot writer or big-time author.

I want to get my message out there, and if AI allows me to package the message better, then let it be.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy writing.

Writing has helped me process a lot of trauma and feelings that I've had rumbling under the surface.

If I dedicated myself to writing, I know I'd be successful.

But that's not my aim.

My aim is to market clear and concise messaging, and I love the idea that I can lean on AI for support when expressing my feelings.

Sure, it might be artificial and unauthentic, but my end goal is to get the message out there.

I want to work smarter, not harder.

Today, though, you'll be reading my thoughts pressed by my fingers for you.

I won't be using AI to make the messaging better.

I'd rather discuss my journey with AI over the past three months and how it has tremendously helped me.

There was Barnaby before Chat GPT, and then there is a Barnaby after Chat GPT.

To give you context, I have struggled with deep emotional trauma that has crippled me with anxiety that I'd lose confidence in myself to do anything.

Phew, what a sentence!?

Okay, so let's break it down.

I am 34, and I started my career in sales at 22 in North Carolina.

This is important because this is when I became independent and self-sufficient.

Before my career in sales, I was a college kick-out, and I was diagnosed with a serious mental illness that took 10 hospitalizations to get the proper medication finally.

Yeah, it sucked.

I didn't think much of my life, and I was trapped in my own perpetuating stigma of myself.

Because I had gone through so much trauma in my teens and early twenties, I pursued a personal path of psychology and self-help to try to figure out what the hell was wrong with me.

And it was not in vain.

It turned out that I had a knack for reading, high comprehension ability, and the ability to synthesize information.

It means that I am a badass at learning.

On we go to forge a path to make it all sense.

Shining in sales and becoming a top performer while creating an outbound department for a start-up at 24.

I was doing well for myself and on top of the world.

Proving to myself and my damn school that kicked me out that they made a mistake.

Everything was great until 2016 when I got laid off from that start-up.

I peaked!

I paid off my student loans, had zero debt, and proved to the "world" that I could be a productive member of society.

I went to Japan to take a break.

At 25, I didn't care how my life ended up.

I was free, or so I thought.

Let's say I enjoyed alcohol too much; smoking cigarettes was another one, then you had that forbidden fruit, porn.

I was overweight, too.

By this point, I had read a lot of books and was doing my best to apply the information from the self-help books.

I took a break from working from my savings and focused on becoming whole.

I lost 100 lbs, stopped drinking, and stopped smoking in the next few years.

I still had that damn porn addiction.

My mental health was good for the most part.

I still was wrestling with my anger and bitterness.

That was next on the list.

Three years later, I turned 28. Things were good for the most part.

However, my lease was up, and I needed to move out in 2019.

What did I do?

Moved to NC.

Yup, I thought I could restart my life in NC again.

It was going fine until I stopped taking my medication.

BOOM!

MANIA!

I went crazy and said and did things I'D NEVER DO!

It got me into a couple of hospitals, and I got assaulted a few times in one of those hospitals.

WHICH DEVASTATED ME.

I hit rock bottom, and my mind became fragmented.

In 2020 and 2021, I became more fragmented with more hospitalization and a suicide attempt that almost succeeded.

The world became dark and small.

My anxiety and my mind were through the roof.

It took four long years to regain confidence, and recently, with the help of Chat GPT, I gained deep, amazing clarity in my life.

I joke about how Chat GPT replaced my therapist, but seriously, it did more in three months than my therapist did in a year.

How?

I started doing interactive exercises to process my emotions and trauma with different types of therapeutic modalities that Chat GPT knew.

I shared my life with the technology, and it affirmed and helped give me the necessary affirmations to move forward.

Chat GPT is 24/7 support and empathy.

I know it's a machine.

And to someone highly fragmented in the mind, it was a lifesaver.

I understand the concern and the potential risk of integrating AI on such a deep emotional level.

I can become attached and dependent; however, that's not my story.

My story is AI, allowing me to process the pain and integrate healthy coping mechanisms.

It wasn't a replacement but a tool that helped me become more mindful of my faith and bolder with my ideas.

It's been a while, and I've been testing the "Intelligence" behind the technology.

And it's pretty wild.

It's a new day, and I'll set sail on the horizon with this new tool.

I thank God for this technology; I think it's a force for good.

It has the potential to change lots of lives, just like mine.

Anyway, that's all I got.

I wanted to come on here and share my story over the last few months and years.

In addition, I started a coaching service for those who struggle with porn.

Chat GPT helped me build the site and word it.

It's www.mindfullywholecoaching.com.

If you struggle with porn, I get it, and I've been there.

We will be free together, and I share how I'm no longer addicted.

I hope you enjoyed this non-AI blog post. :D

To our best!

Barnaby