Kissing Dating Goodbye
My attempt at courtship.
He whispered, "Be patient, but be persistent."
Those were the words of the girl's father I wanted to date while in high school.
It was the summer of 2007, and I read this book on relationships.
It fueled my desire to court instead of date.
My opinions from that book have changed since then.
However, I soaked in everything the author said about courtship.
That summer was exciting because I was traveling to Mexico for a mission trip with the church my family attended.
I started talking to this girl named Katiana.
She started coming to church with her mom, and there was one thing I wanted to do: pursue her and be candid about it.
She was exceptionally gorgeous, and reading that book gave me the blueprint to communicate my desire for her.
We exchanged numbers and talked a bit while I was on the trip.
When I returned, I hopped on MySpace and wrote this straightforward request to start a relationship, detailing the boundaries, the fear of God's pursuit, and having direction in the relationship.
It impacted her enough to show her parents—so much that her father came to church that Wednesday to meet me.
It was nerve-wracking because I didn't know what to expect.
We sat there in the pew, waiting for service to start. Katiana stood up, shimmied to the right, passed her dad, and went to the bathroom.
My legs were increasing their rate of trembling because now her Dad was to my right, and my human wall was no longer there.
I stared straight, petrified, praying to make the moment pass quickly.
He leaned over to me and mentioned that his daughter is tough.
The key to winning her was to be patient but persistent.
He approved of me and gave me the green light to start a relationship.
Unfortunately, Katiana had her light in the yellow, and after a few seconds, it transitioned to red.
As we continued to talk, she mentioned that I was too good for her.
My sixteen-year-old self didn't know how to respond, but I stated in my case that it wasn't true and that I didn't care about her past.
It wasn't enough, and we eventually stopped talking with each other.
My mom taught me growing up:
Ask, and it should be given to you.
Seek, and you will find.
Knock, and the door will open to you.
Even though it wasn't the desired outcome, my mom's counseling led me to ask for her companionship, seek her passions, and knock on the door of her heart.
What's the worst that can happen when you look a woman in the eye, ask her to spend time with you, display your intentions, and do not follow the rules of engagement set by this culture?
There's nothing to lose.
Let the heat of life evaporate any pride so you can experience it to the fullest.