March Update

Alright, well it’s March 14th.

The year is going by very quickly and Q1 is almost over.

Here’s where I’ve landed with my faith. Do I believe in God? Yes. More specifically. Do I believe in Jesus? Also, yes.

Earlier this year I rustled the leaves by saying I don’t know if the resurrection is real. And, if it was real, how would it change my life?

Well, first off to believe in a claim that Jesus was resurrected from the DEAD is extremely extraordinary.

It doesn’t happen at all in life.

In fact, I don’t know the last time a person rose from the dead.

I’m not saying it didn’t happen. The claim that it did happen makes it that it is true.

I guess for me where I landed was the belief of Christianity is something I inherited. I was told Bible stories and I believed them.

Earlier this year, I reexamined what I actually believed and I guess you could say I deconstructed. And, if I had to be honest, I started the deconstruction journey about 10 years ago in NC.

I was 25 and life was going pretty well. I started to question my devotion to church and by the time I was thirty, strictly examining my life, I determined I wasn’t a Christian.

Plus, at that point I was pretty upset about church and the shallowness of it all.

Anyway, I’ve wrestled with what I believed and questioned if I truly believe in Christianity.

I still wrestle with it and I guess what I have concluded is that the way I live matters more than where I’ve landed intellectually.

If I had to put a label on it, I would say I’m agnostic Christian. Meaning that I simply don’t know the metaphysics of Jesus, but I’m going to believe and identify as a Christian.

Here’s my confession, I have a hard time with church. Last Sunday I went to a Presbyterian church in New Haven and it was strange. I got uncomfortable and left early.

I tried non-denominational churches, and baptist churches. They’re okay, but nothing life changing. To me it’s a social formula for Sundays. Do I appreciate it? Nope.

I understand that it’s probably not wise to isolate and not go to church. And, community is important.

I’m hopeful one day I’ll find my community.

That day hasn’t happened yet.

Work is good, I’ve been here for 9 whole months already.

I’m doing a good job and being reliable. I worked Lyft for 6 years and then for the 4 years I was doing different kinds of jobs.

Working at Mosaic has been the longest job I’ve had in 10 years not counting Lyft.

Only because I was my own boss and I don’t know, I did my best to get by.

This year it’s my goal to make an impact health wise. I want to get rid of this weight I have. I’m currently 308.

Sometimes I build apps for ideas I have using Lovable.dev. It occurred to me that I could build my own fitness app and that’s what I did.

The site to the app is https://endurova.lovable.app.

If you want you can check it out and tell me what you think.

I’m pretty proud it and now I need to use it consistently.

Well, that’s pretty much it. I’ll circle back next Quarter for an update.