My Lithium Legacy
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had been born with a biological disorder.
He was gregarious and boastful.
He was proud of his life and had profound dignity for himself and others.
He loved his close companions and had a rumble of a laugh.
He was thoughtful and knew how to communicate.
This mixture of traits was the storm of his personality that cultivated a love for life.
He was perfect and imperfect at the same time.
His mood was a tsunami.
Turbulent waves of emotions, such as despair and euphoria, hurled across his character's landscape.
He never defied the law and was a good man.
Yet he had great darkness covering the tapestry of his soul.
He had a couple of characters appear in his inner monologue.
Their voices told him how to behave and what to do.
Then, the malevolent voice came back from his deep slumber.
“Kill yourself, Barnaby!”
He'd torment the man over and over.
His voice grew, and power overtook the man’s soul.
In his weakness, he began to listen to this voice.
He took the poison and swallowed it.
As time passed by, he lay there wondering if he was going to die.
By grace, he had enough strength to get up and seek help.
“Barnaby, we have to give you dialysis. You may not survive.”
Thankful for seeking help.
He survived another day.
“Barnaby, we are going to give a shot called Invega Sustenna. This will help with the voices and delusions. And we rediagnosed you as Schizoaffective.”
He lay there motionless with the new information.
“Finally, they’re gone.”
End scene.
The above story is about me and my experience with Schizoaffective Disorder.
I have crazy energy, and I can speak a mile a minute with all sorts of ideas and connect the dots to conspiracies I have learned.
Being manic, everything is fast, and I want to go fast.
I want fast sex, fast driving, and fast music.
Nothing is slow.
I talk fast, and I think fast.
It’s a hundred times greater than caffeine.
I’m out there when I am manic.
I have been on Lithium for 16 years.
It’s been an excellent drug to manage moods like mania, but I lose my spark.
Which is okay because being manic is dangerously bad for me.
I spend way too much money on crap, I am socially awkward and weird, and I make stupid decisions.
My recent doctor's appointment regarding my current medications gave me a sliver of hope.
There is a possibility that I don’t have to take Lithium.
This would be huge for me.
I’d love to pause lithium.
It has served its purpose, but I’m ready to move from it.
Regain the colors of life and the vibrancy of life again.
Now, I wouldn’t stop Invega.
Which treats the Schizophrenia, and I’m cool with that.
I have come to terms with the psychosis and delusional thinking.
Plus, several characters manifest themselves in my inner monologue.
Voices galore, and I am glad they no longer speak to me.
It’s quiet in my head, and I like it that way.
So that’s a piece of me.
I hope it clarifies mental health better.
Till next time!