November's Update
More sand passes in the glass of time.
A lot has happened over the past few weeks.
For one, the election.
Donald J. Trump is our president again.
I did my civic duty and voted for him because of his policies and the team he is bringing to the White House.
I'm thankful for the results and excited to see how the next four years will develop.
I know you may not appreciate me expressing my political side, but it's healthy, and I welcome feedback from the other side.
In other news, I got a new MacBook Pro, and I'm currently writing on it.
By the grace of God, I received a good chunk of change from Social Security.
It was enough to make this purchase and is a significant investment.
I bought Grammarly for a year and am even more excited to write and broadcast myself online.
I set a goal to read a hundred books in a year, but I'm a little behind.
However, I did listen to PsychoCybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.
I love this book.
I have read this book before.
The first time I read this book was six years ago.
I found this treasure trove in Barnes and Noble.
I learned our minds are like torpedoes.
We have an automatic creative mechanism that guides us to the target we set out.
As we set goals, our inner mechanism finds a way to achieve those goals.
I also learned that our nervous system doesn't know the difference between an action in the physical body or if it's of the mind.
So be careful what you think because your body will listen to it.
There was a lot more helpful information, and I highly recommend it.
I bought running sneakers.
They're called Vibram Five Fingers sneakers.
They are toe sneakers and form the foot.
I cannot wait to get them so I can start running.
I once ran 13 miles in the winter a few years ago.
It was one of the best moments of my life.
I've lost 10 lbs since September because I have been taking Mujarro.
It's an interesting drug because it curbs the appetite.
Medicine is amazing.
I have medicine to control my mood, I have medicine to control my thoughts, and I have medicine to control my food intake.
It's interesting to think about how all these chemicals influence action.
I'm still a proponent of Determinism.
I have a firm conviction that we do not have free will.
However, there is a part of me that fights for free will.
Just as I write this post, I am the author of my life, and I have a choice to dictate my actions.
What else?
Hmm.
I have the same cyclic thoughts about how I am loved, and God provides for me.
For example, I have a loving family, a job, a place to rest, resources, and friends.
I go to church, and I feel at home there.
I don't harbor bitterness or resentment.
I'm optimistic about the future and feel like the world is mine.
The next best thing is finding my life partner.
I know she's there; maybe she's reading my words now.
I'm not rushing a relationship and am ready to be in one.
I have so much to offer.
Anyway, in 30 days, I will be 34 years old.
It's been an exciting year.
I wish my sister were still with us.
If you don't know, she was murdered in South Carolina through a bad drug deal.
I had so much hope for her.
Just like me, she was battling a mental illness.
Bipolar disorder can be very destructive.
She was unmedicated, and her mania led her to surround herself with bad characters and make many poor choices.
That led to her death in South Carolina.
I wish she were still with us.
She'd be so proud of me.
And I would root for her because I see so much potential!
This next year is going to be amazing.
God has taken care of me, and I feel like he's setting me up for something big.
And if not something big, I'm grateful for Him providing for me.
I should report that I'm not symptomatic, as I live with my biological disorder.
As a reminder, I have a disorder known as Schizoaffective.
It can be very debilitating; however, by God's grace, I am aware and have insight into my condition, which is flipping huge.
I don't hear voices, my mood is stable, and I'm not delusional.
Part of me wants to go back to my brutal ways.
However, I have so much to lose and so much to offer.
I can't go back, and I won't go back.
Well, that's all I got.
To a great future!
Thanks for reading.