Shalom!
As the year ends, I feel as though I’m changing into another version of myself, like Dr. Who regenerating a new body.
If you’ve been following me or know me, then you know that I have a condition that I take medicine for. But that’s old news, one that’s been beaten to death over the internet.
Hold your tears, don’t feel bad for me. I don’t want your pity.
Let’s take a moment to acknowledge what HaShem (הַשֵּׁם) is doing. He has been utterly sweeping me off my feet and giving me a renewed faith in my life.
I’m falling in love with Him, and because of that, I’m taking better care of myself. You guessed it: I’m brushing my teeth and, yes, even taking showers more often.
You may think that’s insignificant, but you’d be wrong. Remember that devil of the condition I mentioned earlier? Well, that yetzer hara of mine has been redeemed by the blood of Yeshua, and I’m living as a new creation.
Not sure what yetzer hara means? I didn’t either, until I took a deep dive into Messianic Jewish theology and even the Kabbalah. I was overwhelmed and flooded by being immersed in such a beautiful way of describing the nefesh, our soul.
Right, so I’ve to explain yetzer hara and nefesh, and it’s so beautiful.
The yetzer hara (יֵצֶר הָרַע) refers to “the evil inclination”, the inclination toward selfish or destructive choices. Its opposite is yetzer hatov (יֵצֶר הַטּוֹב), “the good inclination.”
Now, let’s get that in our heads: Yes, there is sin, but both yetzer hara and yetzer hatov are part of our nature. They’re not to be separated or eradicated.
Secondly, Nefesh (נֶפֶשׁ) is the Hebrew word often translated “soul”, our life-breath, our inner self. Learning this has helped me see that my healing isn’t about erasing a part of myself, but about letting HaShem transform the whole of who I am.
I had always assumed that the soul was within, just another aspect of the body. According to Jewish thought, that’s not quite right: the soul is the body, and the body expresses the soul. Jewish thought sees the body and soul as deeply integrated; our physical life is an expression of the soul.
We also have the Ruach (רוּחַ)—literally “wind/spirit”—often used for a person’s inner spirit, emotions, or the breath of God that animates us. How cool is that? The air we breathe is God’s breath.
Then there’s Nefesh ha-behamit (נֶפֶשׁ הַבְּהָמִית)—the “animal soul,” the part of us that moves with raw appetite and instinct, the carnal side of our humanity. When we live out of that alone, we drift away from the Neshamah (נְשָׁמָה)—the higher, God-breathed soul that reaches toward HaShem.
Pretty freaking cool, right!?
Man, okay—then there’s another Hebrew word I learned about eight years ago when I was working for a Hasidic-Jewish company in New Haven as a garage-door specialist. My boss, Yakov, once told me he discerned that I was most like a Tzadik (צַדִּיק)—which means “righteous one.”
Which was a huge compliment coming from him! The Hasidic community is remarkable, and I have deep respect for them and their culture.
That’s a title I’ve reflected on as my faith-identity in Yeshua the Messiah.
Because let’s be real, those manic nights and roller-coaster seasons of psychosis did NOT make me the most righteous person out there, if you know what I mean. But still, Yakov’s words felt like a huge compliment, especially as a Gentile, not part of the Jewish community, an outsider.
Did I let the title get to my head? Yes, I definitely had to check my pride, because the only way I am righteous is not by my works but by His life and what He did on the cross.
Y’all, can I get an amen!?
Anyway, then there’s Tikkun Olam (תִּקּוּן עוֹלָם), which means “repairing the world.”It’s the call to partner with HaShem in healing creation.
Are you with ME!?
That means we are partners with HaShem in healing creation as He heals us through His Son. To me, that’s a win, right? No matter my condition, Bipolar or Schizoaffective disorder, I can still be a participant in healing the world.
I’m not cast out!
And you’re not cast out. This leads me to Teshuvah (תְּשׁוּבָה), which is repentance or returning to God; a turning-back of the heart, not just regret.
No matter how far gone you think you’ve sinned or allowed the animal instinct of your nature to overtake you. Fret not. You can practice teshuvah and keep HaShem’s Mitzvot (מִצְווֹת) – the commandments / good deeds; which means in Jewish life, each mitzvah is a way of drawing nearer to God.
I could go on, but I’ll have to study more to provide a more detailed rundown.
Anyway, laila tov (לַיְלָה טוֹב). It means good night in Hebrew. Shalom.