The Beauty in Brokenness: How Kintsugi Taught Me to See My Scars Differently

For years, I saw myself as broken.

Shattered by trauma.

Burdened by addiction. Weighed down by shame.

Every crack in me felt like proof that I was too damaged ever to be whole again.

But then, I learned about kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, and everything changed.

Kintsugi doesn’t try to hide the cracks.

It doesn’t pretend the break never happened.

Instead, it honors the brokenness by filling it with beautiful gold, resin, and care.

In doing so, it transforms what was once seen as ruined into something even more valuable.

What If My Cracks Weren’t Something to Be Ashamed Of?

I started asking myself:

What if, instead of hiding my past— the addictions, the hospitalizations, the losses, I allowed grace to fill in the fractures?

What if my brokenness wasn’t my identity but rather a part of my restoration?

What if I wasn’t beyond saving but was being rebuilt into something new?

The First Crack: Lost Innocence

The first crack in my life was the loss of innocence at five years old.

No child should be exposed to pornography at such a young age.

And yet, that’s my story.

I saw and experienced something I wasn’t meant to see, something that left a mark I couldn’t erase.

For years, I thought I was broken because I developed a deep addiction to this material.

Shame whispered that it was my fault, that I was too damaged to change.

Another Fracture: Mental Illness & Stigma

At 17, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.

Another crack.

I believed this meant a lifetime of stigma, of being seen as too much or not enough.

Hospitalizations followed. Then, one day, something happened that shattered me completely. I was assaulted during one of those hospitalizations.

After that, I lost friends, my reputation in the workplace, and my sense of self.

Shattered.

The pieces of me were scattered everywhere.

Kintsugi: A New Way to See the Pieces

And then, I discovered kintsugi.

Instead of being angry at the brokenness, instead of trying to glue myself together with shame, kintsugi offered a different path.

It taught me that the cracks are not the end of the story.

That gold can fill the fractures.

That what was once shattered can be made into something new.

And then, I saw it: God does the same thing.

He takes our broken places, wounds, and past mistakes and fills them with grace.

Not to erase them.

But to redeem them.

You Are Not Just the Cracks You Are the Gold That Fills Them

Your scars do not define you.

What you do with them does.

For years, I believed my cracks made me unworthy. I thought my brokenness was proof that I was beyond saving.

But now, I see the truth:

I was never meant to be flawless.

I was meant to be restored.

Kintsugi teaches us that healing is not about erasing the past; it is about transforming it.

The very places where you feel shattered can become the most beautiful parts of your story.

So, if you feel broken, if you have been carrying shame, if you’ve ever thought you were beyond redemption, I want you to hear this:

You are not too far gone.

You are not unworthy.

You are not just the cracks.

You are the gold that fills them.

And your story is just beginning.