The Melody Behind Mockery
The Dream I had September 9th, 2025
The Dream of Mel le Deriends
In the dream, I had a vision of the X-Men. Beast, the brilliant creature of philosophy and mathematics, became consumed by his own mind. His thinking turned in on itself until it drove him into madness, and in that frenzy he went on a rampage. He slaughtered many of his allies and left others severely injured. His brilliance, divorced from mercy, became destruction.
In that same dreamscape, I too was caught. My thoughts wrapped themselves around determinism and other philosophies until they drove me mad. In that state, I murdered both of my brothers. Not in hatred, but in a fever of thought that cut me off from love. When I was with my two sisters and my mother, I explained myself through Beast — as though his descent into madness explained my own.
Then the vision shifted. I saw an image: a pillar and a door. At the bottom of the pillar was shade, but at the top was light. It revealed a truth to me — the darkness cannot keep out the light. However heavy the shadow at the base, light still rises above it.
Afterward, my attention turned to my mother. She always cooked the foods my sister liked, making sure her favorites were on the table. Yet for me, there was nothing. I was overlooked, unfed, unseen. That neglect echoed the same themes of the dream: Beast’s rage, my own disintegration, the pillar of shade and light.
And out of that swirl of madness, neglect, and revelation, I coined a phrase: Mel le Deriends.
Though I could not explain it fully, the phrase carried the weight of the dream. It became the name for hidden sweetness — the honey withheld, yet still longed for. It was the melody behind the mockery, the friend disguised in shadow, the light that persists through ruin.
Mel le Deriends is what remains when intellect spins into madness, when neglect leaves the soul unfed, when shadows seem to claim the foundation. It is the truth that even then, light rises. It is the grace woven through abandonment. It is the sweetness that still lingers, even when denied.
____
Symbolic Reflection on Mel le Deriends
Beast represents the danger of intellect without anchor — the brilliance of philosophy and mathematics twisted into madness. He is what happens when thinking devours love. In him, you saw a reflection of your own fear: that obsession with ideas like determinism could consume you, tearing apart the bonds of family and mercy.
The pillar and door show the opposite truth: that even though darkness presses heavy at the bottom, light inevitably rises at the top. This image is hope — a reminder that disintegration does not end in ruin, but can point upward toward reintegration.
The food memory with your mother and sister reveals the ache of neglect, of sweetness withheld. Yet out of this ache, your mind coined a name: Mel le Deriends. In the dream it became a symbol, a phrase that gathers together all these strands — the madness of thought, the ache of abandonment, and the persistence of light through shadow.
Mel le Deriends is the name for hidden sweetness, the honey that remains even when it is denied. It is the melody behind mockery, the friend disguised in shadow, the grace that lingers in the ruins.