Writing Prompt: is there anything you regret?

Yeah, there’s something I regret.

It happened 13 years ago and is something I still think about today.

You may not have guessed it, but I was kicked out of school and banned for a year.

I went to the most prominent Christian college in the US.

It’s known as Liberty University.

Founded by Jerry Falwell.

I loved that school.

I had a name on that campus.

Everyone in my class knew me.

I loved meeting new people and being around friends.

My time for the year and a half was something special.

I was studying Nursing and competing with others to get into Nursing school.

You see, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1 in 2008 after coming back from a mission trip.

I was manic for weeks.

Which meant zero sleep, and I can do anything mentality, and hypersexual.

I was thinking fast, and I had an endless amount of ideas.

Like ending poverty and providing clean water to the Haitian people.

I wanted to be the hero and save everyone.

Hence, the messianic attitude.

I needed to save everyone.

All that put together turned into significant mood swings.

And boom, I was drugged with Lithium and Depakote.

After being released from Silver Hill Hospital in New Canaan, CT, I was homeschooled for the remainder of the semester.

2009 rolled around, and I wasn’t myself with the medication.

My mom noticed the behavior change and advised me to stop taking the medication.

I followed her instructions and felt like I had my personality back.

I remained without medication until 2011.

I regret not taking my medication.

I would have functioned better if I had taken it.

The brain is a powerful machine, but for people like me, it needs a little help.

Hindsight is 20/20.

If only I had taken the medication, I would not have gotten kicked out of school.

So, if you have a mental illness, don’t be afraid of taking the medication.

You’re better off.

I embarrass myself, and I socially sabotage myself.

In my opinion, Bipolar Disorder is a social disorder.

I’m thankful for the friends and freedom I have today.

I want to talk about shame.

Being kicked out of school certainly brought about shame.

Christ covers me completely.

No matter what kind of state I am in, He loves me.

I believe that more and more as I reflect on my past.

Yup, those are my regrets.

Thanks for reading.