You're not the category...

I am not bipolar or schizoaffective

Wake up, Barnaby.

You’re not bipolar or schizoaffective, so don’t introduce yourself by telling them you’re bipolar or schizoaffective.

You’re a man of conviction, a writer, a poet, an autodidact, a philosopher, a theologian, and a high-caliber mind.

DO NOT reduce yourself to a category. Don’t allow people to simply define what a mental illness is.

The man writing this essay is the man redefining what mental illness looks like.

I am not manic. I am not depressed. I am not psychotic. I am not delusional. I am not crazy. I am not out of my mind.

Would any of those descriptors be able to write and think any of this now?

Or are you thinking it should be more like this:

AH let me shoot the moon as I spoon this cream of thought into the cone of knowledge telling you what a bipolar writer looks like yes these sentences will runnnnn and even sprint to the next idea

I write that as a med compliant man. I can write what bipolar looks like because I’ve been there, and I live with symptoms and clusters of high octane looks like. I remember writing like that, trying to rhyme words and describe a state of mind.

However, just because I can write like I’m bipolar doesn’t give you permission that I am bipolar because I am not.

The ability to describe an experience does not mean the experience owns my identity.

An actor can play a king on stage with flawless execution, but the moment the curtains close, he doesn't believe he's royalty.

I am Barnaby, a writer, a poet, a lover, a reader, a learner, and an observer.