Thought number two

He whispered into my ear, "Be patient, but be persistent." 

Those were the words of the girl's father I wanted to date while in high school. It was the summer of 2007, and I read this book on relationships. It fueled this desire to court instead of date. My opinions from that book have changed since that time. However, I soaked in everything that author had to say about courtship. 

That summer was exciting because I was traveling to Mexico for a mission trip with the church my family attended. I had started talking to this girl named, Katiana. She started coming to church with her mom, and there was one thing I wanted to do. Pursue her and be candid about it. She was exceptionally gorgeous and reading that book gave me the blueprint to communicate my desire towards her. 

We exchange numbers, and we talked a bit while I was on the trip. When I came back, I hopped on MySpace and wrote this straightforward request to start a relationship. Detailing the boundaries, the fear of God pursuit, and having direction in the relation. It impacted her enough to show her parents. So much so, that her father came to church that Wednesday to meet me. It was nerve-wracking because I didn’t know what to expect. 

We sat there in the pew, waiting for service to start. Katiana stood up, shimmied to the right passed her dad and made her way to the bathroom. My legs were increasing their rate of trembling because now her Dad was to my right and my human wall was no longer there. I stared straight, petrified, praying in my head to make the moment pass quickly. He leaned over to me and mentioned that his daughter is a tough girl. The key to winning her was to be patient, but be persistent. He approved of me and gave me the green light to start a relationship. 

Unfortunately, Katiana had her light in the yellow and a few seconds it transitioned to red. She mentioned to me as we continued to talk that I was too good for her. My sixteen-year-old self-didn't know how to respond, but I stated my case that it wasn’t true and I didn’t care about her past. It wasn’t enough, and we eventually stopped talking with each other. 

My mom taught me as a young sapling; ask, and it should be given to you, seek, and you will find, knock, and the door will open to you. Even though it wasn’t the desired outcome, my mom counseling to ask, led me to ask for her companionship, seek her passions, and knock on the door of her heart. 

What’s the worst that will happen by looking in a woman’s eye asking to spend time with you, displaying your intentions, and not following the rules of engagement set by this culture? 

There’s nothing to lose. Allow the heat of life to evaporate any pride, so you’ll experience it to the fullest.

“You’ll never be a failure because you’ll always succeed at failing.”  - Mentor from CT 



Barnaby Alkire